Men and Paying Bills

I admit times have changed. Just as women demanded equality, men did too. If there are bills to pay, the cost is shared between the man and woman in the relationship, be it business, marriage or dating.

I’m going to blog about restaurant bills today.

I do not have a problem paying my bills, which is why whenever I meet up with a friend/potential date, I always make sure I have at least enough money to pay my part of the bill.

However, there is this crop of men emerging in Nairobi. Men who expect you to pay their bill too. They will not only expect you to pay yours, they expect you to pay theirs as well. With the exception of those older career woman-young college man relationships, I really think men should pay the restaurant bills for their women.


It’s never about the money. I have met men who did not have much money but will gladly pay the Kshs. 1000 bill at the coffee house. I have met others who earn upwards of 100K a month but expect you to pay their Kshs. 200 bill, considering it too small a bother. This second group does not flinch when the waiter brings the bill, and while you fumble around for your wallet, they sit tight, relaxed.

Restaurant bill

Restaurant bill

The least a guy could do is pay his half of the bill. The LEAST. (Unless it’s one of those older career woman-young college man relationships, as I said.) Especially if the guy earns more than the girl. It’s just basic manners.

In Other News: The Polygamy Bill

If MPs want to pass a bill to legalize polygamy, let them be my guest. However, polyandry should also be legal.

Let’s take an example of a man with 10 wives. The 10th, 9th, 8th wives will probably get ignored as time goes past. It should be possible for them to be married again to any other men they desire, without losing the privileges associated with the first marriage.

My humble thoughts.

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32 Responses to Men and Paying Bills

  1. kbaab says:

    Well, my principle on men and paying bills is pretty simple actually.

    A guy asks me out on a date, he pays the bill. Mutual agreement to a date, we split the bill. I ask a guy out on a date, I foot the bill. We ‘bump’ into each other and have drinks/food, everybody takes care of their own bill.


  2. kbaab says:

    Well, my principle on men and paying bills is pretty simple actually.

    A guy asks me out on a date, he pays the bill. Mutual agreement to a date, we split the bill. I ask a guy out on a date, I foot the bill. We ‘bump’ into each other and have drinks/food, everybody takes care of their own bill.


  3. kbaab says:

    Well, my principle on men and paying bills is pretty simple actually.

    A guy asks me out on a date, he pays the bill. Mutual agreement to a date, we split the bill. I ask a guy out on a date, I foot the bill. We ‘bump’ into each other and have drinks/food, everybody takes care of their own bill.


  4. Boosy says:

    Its basic knowledge a man should foot the bill moreso when they ask u to meet them.


  5. Tumooz says:

    he he he what is it with this topic?!!! a buddy asked me to this piece- it is tricky. i am still writing it 🙂 BUT i have to say that i kinda agree with@ Kbaab- it depends on the circumstances,i also add it depends on the relationship. If we say men should pay our bills- in restaurants at least,then we have lost the argument about being treated equal- ‘murky’ i know.


  6. Woolie says:

    A tricky one. Some ladies will resent it if you refuse for them to pay. It’s easy to say let’s do 50/50 but that sounds so business like…I will look for a *low fence* and sit this one out.

    Stay well.


  7. Nkirdizzle says:

    I agree that the government should also legalize polyandry! It is only fair that women should also have many husbands as well!


  8. Anonymous says:

    Frankly speaking I have never really understood the hullabaloo about paying bills. If it is a date, surely a man should pick up the tab, whatever happened to chivalry! However men also need to learn a bit of honesty, I have never minded telling a lady in advance that I am broke this time and will not be able to pay the bill, if she has an issue with that, then probably she is not worth it.

    Concerning polygamy, well it has never been illegal in the strict sense of the term, it depends on what kind of marriage you have opted. people who engage in traditional marriages are polygamous and it is recognized under the law, same to islamic marriages. Unless they wanted to decriminalize bigamy but I have to go back and read what the proposal actually says I did not deem it important enough to warrant ,my attention, I am happily married to one wife. My philosophy though is that let any man or woman who wants to have more than one spouse be free to do so, as long as their spouses consent….


  9. Anon says:

    Women are very selfish when it comes to ” their money ” .

    I was in a relationship with this lady & we have a baby boy together. Our union was the envy of most couples until she started a biz which was earning her more than what I took home I assume.

    Despite her making lots of cash, she still expected me to clear all the bills but I didn’t mind. This meant that while the zeros in her bank account balance increased, my wallet kondad.

    Early this year, she developed an attitude with all signs indicating that I was no longer wanted. Whenever I got home after a hard days work it felt as if I was a stranger in my own home. She got out of hand when she started throwing insults at me that I was not man enough & she even went as far as making false accusations against me backed by her sisters destroying my good reputation to friends & relatives.

    We parted ways in May this year. What hurts me so much is the fact that when we were together & she was jobless, I used up all my cash to make ours a happy home but when she started doing so well, suddenly I ceased being a what? a man. I was kicked out with the few house hold items I had acquired.

    When I went to visit my infant son at his mother’s new home just the other day, I was in tears after he asked me why I left as he does not understand. I have vowed not to visit him again coz what will a child think when he/she sees his/her father cry yet the child knows ” my father is the strongest man in the village?”

    She should have partnered with me to uplift our financial & living standards but instead she chose to what? get rid of me so that she can devour her wealth all by herself.

    My ex is now living large as I plot on how I am going to courier myself to Satan. Am yet to decide as to whether am gonna use a rope, rat poison, overdose malaria tabs, jump infront of a speeding car at the new thika highway, jump from my ex-es balcony head first ta wanjiru, higher mungiki to dismember me, sleep with an aids infested whore, jump from the last floor of anniversary towers or rob a bank so that the flying squad delivers me to Lucifer at point blank with bullets.


    As in the case of ” The restaurant bill ” when he takes you out for coffee, why should you just carry enough cash to pay for your part of the bill but expect him to have carried enough to foot both bills? What happens if he finds out that he forgot his wallet, you pay your part of the bill & you leave the poor fella akichonga mawaru.


    • spagetti says:

      oh men, i’ve neva married but i no longer date coz of familiar experience. people can be very unrealistic at times


    • keen says:

      kind of reminds me of one morning discussion on classic 105 where a lady who makes a milli said “what would I be doing with a man making less than a milli ?” Now ua story is a clear example of y most men do not settle with ladies who make more money than them and also a testimony to the ladies’ cliche “your money is our money but my money is my money”


  10. pitzevans says:

    you best change your polyandry ideas, or, you can forget your dream to be president of the EA republic. so what happened in the second interview.


  11. Ceskycess says:

    I usually have no problem footing the bill, but our men are taking reforms a little too far. Not just in Nairobi, they are shameless in the whole country I think.


  12. Muraya Kamau says:

    The guy should always pay the bill. An exception exists when she offers. It’s very weird for a lady to pay for a man’s meal let alone hers during a date. Today’s man has lost respect.

    Be gentlemen.


  13. Anonymous says:

    Chivalry is dead my dear, today I see people shoving with mothers and other women to board that mat going to work, the only remaining bit of chivalry is in textbooks but not practised…


  14. Mutongakarani06 says:

    Old school still rocks…Men should pay the bills especially if they have invited someone out. I am also appalled that some men can not even pull a chair for their girl. Some do not even know which hand is supposed to hold a woman or even open the door for their women.


  15. In the kind of doublespeak that would dumbfound a politician, the modern Kenyan woman – even as she swirls empowerment, equality, equal opportunity & all other high-sounding vowels on her tongue like fine wine – will remain firm about one thing: it is the unconditional duty of the man to provide. Apparently, the wedding vow of “two shall become one” only applies to his wallet & never her designer handbag. No matter the situation, women will leave all the bills to the man, even in these harsh economic times.


  16. Him_omosh says:

    I pay most bills for the people I date. They pay back in various ways . But I hate those who change their drinks after I start buying.


  17. Rowney says:

    If you ask somebody out You pay the Bill. If you’re asked out and you dont want to pay the bill,there is always the answer No,..Maybe later,..You buying?…can’t do it now ..raincheck? just simple answers that would save an embarassment.


  18. Pingback: Money Matters: Men Borrowing From Women | Savvy Kenya

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