Computers and Personalities

First of all, I must apologize for neglecting this blog for over a week! I also haven’t been responding to comments, I promise I will very soon.

So back to the post at hand: We can all describe ourselves, and relationships, using computer-speak. Here we go:

Firmware:

Firmware is programming that’s written to the read-only memory (ROM) of a computing device. Firmware, which is added at the time of manufacturing, is used to run user programs on the device.

These are people we can rely on. They are trustworthy, you can be sure as long as you leave proper instructions, they will execute them. They are the friends who you will call when in trouble because you know they have your back. This is the person who, once their mind is made up, is hard to change (think ROM). We all need firmware friends!

They make good accountants. Or motivational speakers/authors.

Bill Cosby looks trustworthy, no? Image from mobdd.com

Liveware

A slang term used to denote people using (attached to) computers, and is based on the need for a human, or liveware, to operate the system using hardware and software.

A liveware person is charming, passionate and attractive. Everyone seems either hate/love them with a passion. They are the alpha male in the club, the one every chick wants to be with. It’s that chick who walks into the room and conversation stops. She doesn’t have to look stunning, but her personality attracts people to her. You are proud/jealous sometimes when you have a liveware friend. You know liveware are dangerous to date… but you do it anyway. They will leave you for someone else but you would still forgive them if they came back… except they never come back!

Liveware people make good politicians/human rights activists!

Like this man might be a liveware! Image from uncyclopedia.wikia.com

Shareware

Software distributed on the basis of an honor system. Most shareware is delivered free of charge, but the author usually requests that you pay a small fee if you like the program and use it regularly.

These are the people, male or female, that never say no. Whether you are asking them for money, sex etc.. Consequently, they end up being used by everyone around them. You know when you need something, you can just call them up and they will say yes!

The Yes man. Image from movie-list.com

Malware

Malware, short for malicious software, consists of programming (code, scripts, active content, and other software) designed to disrupt or deny operation, gather information that leads to loss of privacy or exploitation, gain unauthorized access to system resources, and other abusive behavior.

They are the malicious people. Acidic in nature, though they can appear harmless or even friendly on the surface. They are the friends that will stab you in the back, like Trojan Horses. They are the ones that are never happy at your successes, though they may pretend they are. Do not trust them.

Stop, virus! Image from dreamstime.com

Software

Computer software, or just software, is a collection of computer programs and related data that provide the instructions for telling a computer what to do and how to do it

This is the class of people that are easy to talk to. They are the mediators.. mostly between you and other types of people. They make dealing with hardware/malware/shareware people easy. They are easy to trust, though that can turn out to be a mistake, ask Windows users. They are however useful, as everyone finds it easy to talk to them. They should be deployed to the front desk/customer care!

Software people project a 'teddy bear', easy to talk to image. Don't be fooled πŸ™‚ Image from vincentmyfuture.com

Hardware

Stern woman! Very hardware-like πŸ™‚ Image from picturesof.net

These people are hard to talk to, they refuse to change their minds, are conservative, I’d say. They make good headmasters/mistress of secondary schools.

Freeware

Freeware (from “free” and “software”) is computer software that is available for use at no cost or for an optional fee, but usually with one or more restricted usage rights. Freeware is in contrast to commercial software, which is typically sold for profit.

Oh.. this is a sad group of people and we are part freeware. There is that one person for whom we would do anything for. We are their freeware. They may or may not be good to us, but we’d do anything for them, for free!

The t-shirt says it all πŸ™‚ Image from zazzle.com

P.S. This is in no way comprehensive.. I might edit this post soon. Had to type this really fast because I’m late heading somewhere.. don’t ask, I’ll tell! Flag any typos for future correction, enjoy πŸ™‚

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2 Responses to Computers and Personalities

  1. pitzevans says:

    love the piece, humourous n thoroughly well articulated

    Like

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